Keto Sheet Pan Tandoori Chicken And Vegetables (Meal Prep)

2022.01.26 11:14 turningvinyl Keto Sheet Pan Tandoori Chicken And Vegetables (Meal Prep)

Keto Sheet Pan Tandoori Chicken And Vegetables (Meal Prep) submitted by turningvinyl to ketorecipes [link] [comments]

2022.01.26 11:14 Lovingnature412 With housing costs rising to insane levels how has the homeless crisis affected where you live ?

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2022.01.26 11:14 Bergbeklimmen 2-2-2022 , Yo what do you think is going to happend on 2 february 2022, it has been a date that a lot influential, knowledgeable people have talked about. Please share youre thoughts with me. Thank you all in advance 🙏

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2022.01.26 11:14 Cheap_Sherbet_7429 Did I get scammed?

I went to a bmw repair shop (not dealer) and had my power seats fixed. The seats were apparently broken due to bent metal and a cracked plastic part. They replaced the seat track and charged me $2200 for that part (cdn) 2hrs to place it and in all 2800$ for a power seat issue. Does this seem reasonable?
2018 430i grand coupe driver side power seat issue
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2022.01.26 11:14 SubParHydra pass the legacy

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2022.01.26 11:14 sandman388 Happy Australia Day to all Australians. Out of all your closest friends who many have been killed by a wild animal?

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2022.01.26 11:14 Tackle_Swimming Story Mode Missions

I'm not sure if I'm being alittle simple or I'm missing something but there isn't any Misson for me to do? ( No I haven't completed the game)
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2022.01.26 11:14 Substantial_Town_783 Trans ppl

Upvotes to the left👍👍
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2022.01.26 11:14 EddyStarr How to download YouTube sports videos

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2022.01.26 11:14 KRRRR1 [EU] lvl 10 MAIN AWP LFT

2,1k elo main awp LFT for ESEA s40 or equivalent. Exp in open, tourneys etc. Knowledge and experience in team cs, meta, knowledge of nades, motivated to play decent cs. Mixed style influential AWPING, agressive when needed. More gamesense/skill than your average player. Can put up crucial frags and cluthes, a voice in the team. Can help with midround calling.
Can play 2nd awp/lurk/entry but dont prefer doing it.
Preferably 18+ team, not a must if u are dedicated and mature.
Flexible schedule.
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2022.01.26 11:14 OpalCoffee Maintenance break?

So I have been on a weight loss journey since September. And with my busy life style I found losing weight to not be that difficult. But then a month ago school and all my extra curriculars stopped over the Xmas break. And that was the first time I struggled staying in my calorie limit. My binge eating was also coming back and became regular. And then when schools went online I really got depressed and just stopped CICO. I gained 11lbs (although some of it was definitely water weight)
And when everything resumed last week I also got back on track with cico. But now I have another 2ish weeks off from school coming up. And I've been reflecting on what made the Xmas break so challenging for me.

  1. I was home all the time and bored. I eat out of boredom or whenever I feel the tiniest bit of hunger. And being at home basically 24/7 can make it difficult bc I'm constantly fighting those temptations.
  2. I'm also a short inactive, female, so I don't really get to eat a bunch calories.
I feel like going on a maintenance break will make this time off easier for me. And also help prevent me from going back to old inhealthy habits. Thoughts or advice?
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2022.01.26 11:14 sugoi_2 Enjoy up to 20% off your YesStyle order using my rewards code ✨2MC5F6✨ in combination with coupon code ☁️9GAGYESSTYLE☁️ or ☁️VDAY22☁️ - more details in the comment section!

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2022.01.26 11:14 BrightyQuid SPOT THE DIFFERENCE - Chomp Walk (Ink Drawing)

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2022.01.26 11:14 Educational-Shoe-137 Trading magical enchantress for robux.

Comment if interested <33
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2022.01.26 11:14 blu_wu [Grade 12 21st literature: comic writing] can i ask for promts or dialouge for this comic? it can be about anything, i just cant seem to think of something thanks :3

[Grade 12 21st literature: comic writing] can i ask for promts or dialouge for this comic? it can be about anything, i just cant seem to think of something thanks :3 submitted by blu_wu to HomeworkHelp [link] [comments]

2022.01.26 11:14 Rowanoa_Xoro What do I do?

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2022.01.26 11:14 NewsElfForEnterprise RTX A-S is about to announce its earnings — here's what to expect

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2022.01.26 11:14 saintmsent Apple world's most valuable brand 2022; TikTok fastest-growing brand

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2022.01.26 11:14 Happy-History1776 🏆NFT GIVEAWAY🏆 DIAMOND 💎 HANDS 2.0 - Get them while they last!!! SEE COMMENT FOR DETAILS!!!

🏆NFT GIVEAWAY🏆 DIAMOND 💎 HANDS 2.0 - Get them while they last!!! SEE COMMENT FOR DETAILS!!! submitted by Happy-History1776 to NftGiveawayOnly [link] [comments]

2022.01.26 11:14 jiangjindong 集美绝绝子,剩下钱买刀,带刀有用!

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2022.01.26 11:14 berkaykrl I made a video of a little skit which is embarrassing me but here you go haha

Warning: LOUD

PS: I know it's cringe, i just did this to have fun XD
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2022.01.26 11:14 pah_tin FNAF

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2022.01.26 11:14 MudGroundbreaking $DOYU Awaiting for Buy signal on DOYU with

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2022.01.26 11:14 Sammy-Overlock MÉXICO Y EL CONFLICTO DE UCRANIA Don Vocero on Twitter
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2022.01.26 11:14 myboogerstastespicy TWoP Recap: ROL Bus Episode 1

Unedited; questionable language
Inside a certain L.A. bachelor pad, nothing is happening. That's because Bret Michaels isn't home. He's on tour, terrorizing -- or, as it were, "rocking his way across" -- America. Remember "Hands Across America?" It's like that, but with genitals. Hey! And there's the man himself! Judging by the amount of pancake and eyeliner that Bret is sporting, this season is sponsored by Mary Kay. Bret says that after two seasons of coming up empty-handed in his quest to find his one true rock of love, he started to wonder what the hell he was doing wrong. Oh, Bret. How much time do you have? And then it hit him, like the brass knuckles in the kisser we've all longed for. He spends 300 days of the year on the road rocking, rolling, and partying. You can verify this if you look at the entertainment schedule of a minor casino near you! There's nothing like watching dog races to the tune of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." So, this time, Bret's taking the show on the road. And you know, I remember reading an interview with Bret a while back where he said that he wanted to do a show that depicted what life on tour was really like. VH1 execs obviously replied, "Sold, if we can throw in a score of skanks." And lo, it came to pass. Only one girl can be Bret's rock of love... three.
And wait! This season is replete with a new theme song! "Please let me introduce myself / I'm gonna get you off like there's no one else / Please let me be your flesh and blood / Your dirty secret / Your rock of love / Rock of love." I don't know. It has none of the je ne sais quoi of "Touch my backstage pass."
Without further ado we're in Louisville, Kentucky, at Coyote's Bar. A vaguely southern blonde with a shiny face and giant knockers tells us that if somebody messes with her, they're in for it, and she's going to win Bret's heart. Then there's a pretty girl with dimple piercings who says she's cool and fun and everything a guy would want, and it's okay if she's "a little bit not too smart." Another blonde with giant knockers says that she's been grooving on Bret since the fourth grade, and also is into bondage. A somewhat more mature and normalish looking brunette wonders what the blonde bimbo hell she's walked into. I hope she's up to date on all of her vaccinations. She can smell the tension burning. Um, that's not tension. She says that the whole situation is a pressure cooker waiting to blow. Um, that's not a pressure cooker.
Meanwhile, Bret tells us how he has everything... except the right woman! Rock n' roll is the reason for, and ruin of, all of his relationships. Nice to see they slightly edit the cue cards for him each season. It doesn't suck to have hot groupies, but Bret is looking for someone he can come home to -- a best friend he can goof around with, a love he can get hot-nasty-dirty-crazy with, someone who will be patient with his passion for music, and someone who will understand and get what his life is about. And in a "Save the Best for Last" moment, Bret is totally going to realize at the end of the season that Big John has been The One all along. Sometimes the snow really does come down in June. Bret then says, and I quote, "And I swear to you, if I do not find the right woman this time, I am giving up." I WANT IT IN WRITING.
Bret then enters Coyote's to meet his skanks-in-waiting. He notes that hope springs eternal when you're standing in front of this much beauty. I don't know why the Aging Rock Stars' Health Insurance Plan doesn't include vision care. It's really tragic. Obama will get on it, I'm sure. And then, HOLY SHIT. Daisy 2.0 (who we will learn in the near future is known as DJ Lady Tribe) -- with perhaps even more fucked-up teeth and yet bigger boobs -- says that Bret is so damn fine that she can orgasm over and over (and over and over) (and over and over) to his gorgeousness. Whatever brain injury befell her as a child apparently had some pretty stellar side effects. Bret assures his new ladies that they are going to be on a real-ass tour, and he needs to be to shows on time. When the bus rolls out of town they need to be on it or risk having to hitchhike home with a trucker of ill repute.
Bret reminds the girls that he loves to "do photography," and since they'll be on tour and need backstage passes anyway, he's going to take beautiful pictures of their hot bodies. And, incidentally, their somewhat fucked-up faces. And through that, learn a lot about their personalities, of course. Brittaney, a blonde with "beautiful assets" is up first. Bret swears he knows Brittaney from somewhere. That somewhere, he soon deduces, is porn. Quelle surprise. Another buxom blonde contender wonders who the French would want to fuck porn Brittaney. I think you're looking at him, buddy. Brittaney tells Bret that now she's at a different point in her life and is truly looking to settle down with someone. Brittaney interviews that people can judge so hard-core on people who do pornography. Sex is a beautiful thing, she says, and if we can do it behind closed doors, what's wrong with doing it on camera? And I quote, "America's pretty messed up that way." Way to take a stand on the ills of our once-great country. You want to get out of the recession, start having sex on camera. Oh, and holy shit part deux. Porn Brittaney was porny six or seven years ago. Now her passion is singing and songwriting. So, she sings for Bret as he photographs her. Instant boner-shrinker. Next is Melissa, who teaches pole dancing, pilates, hip-hop and burlesque. She says that she's high maintenance. She's very petite and fit, and says that she gets a lot of looks and people who want to take pictures with her and her gravity-defying boobs. She's a real miracle of science.
And then, prepare yourself. It's time for Nikki -- that's Daisy 2.0 -- also known as DJ Lady Tribe. DJ Lady Tribe is, as her name suggests, a DJ. But she was also once a graffiti artist. Then she got six months of jail time. Once out of the big house, she devised a crime prevention technique that involved getting gigantic breast implants. It sort of makes sense, in a really obtuse way. Or maybe her cans are actually cans of spray paint, and she now makes street art with her rack? That actually sounds like some pretty high-concept 1970's feminist performance art. DJ Lady Tribe has also written a song for Bret. A rap song. And the lyrics to that song. Are scrawled. On a Center for Disease Control fact sheet about genital herpes. It's not just a free clinic... it's also a library! Bret has a hard time concentrating on the song given the herpes connection. The other girls are dying, and note that there's also a fact sheet about gonorrhea in the mix. We don't get to hear the full rap, but I imagine that it goes something like, "When you're gone it's you that I miss / As a keepsake I have my syphilis / Oh my darlin' can't wait to see ya / I'm burning for you like gonorrhea / We go together like Slim Jims and Slurpees / Like Benson and Stabler / Or chlamydia and herpes." I totally just gave this episode an "A."
Next there's Ashley. Blonde, tattoos, boobs, etc. Bret says that Ashley is beautiful like Juliette Lewis -- kind of Natural Born Killers with a bigger rack. It's turning him on, in a strange way. Ashley says that she's hot just standing there breathing, so doesn't have to take off her clothes or sing a song or a rap about STDs. She's hot, and that's it. You can't fault her for that. Next is Heather, who says she can be a little more reserved and shy. Going on Rock of Love: Bus to cure your shyness is the new Oprah's OCD Camp. Then there's Megan, who is an "animal traineress." I am officially changing my job title to "recapperess." Megan trains lions and tigers and grizzlies. Impressive, but it's no STD rap.
Bret notes that some of the girls were rocking his world from the get-go, but with some he had to wonder what world they were actually from. This segue leads us to Constandina. She interviews that she is from the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. So, like, West Virginia, then. Constandina tells Bret that she's very spiritual and deep. She wears a jewel on her third eye. No, not that third eye. Although, maybe that third eye too, though blessedly we have no visual evidence to confirm it. Constandina has a master's degree in storytelling, and is preparing to go back to school for her Ph.D. in mythology and folklore. You can have all the advanced degrees of dubious note that you like, Constandina, but it's still no STD rap. Then there's Natasha, who tells us that she's expecting cattiness. She grew up in boarding school, so she knows of what she speaks. Natasha may have remarkable similarities to half the cast of Paris Is Burning and be wearing a dress fashioned of newspaper and feathers, but she's also pretty bad-ass. She's starting an escort agency based in Canada and caps this bit of information with, "Hi, I'm Natasha, and I'm an aspiring madam." And also an aspiring Madame. I heart her.
Then there's Marci, who's boring and meager of false breast. She's not going to last long. Next we have Stephanie, who describes herself as conservative. She's a licensed practical nurse, in a nursing home. She's just about the best end-of-your-life thrill an old guy being spoon fed oatmeal could ask for. Stephanie tells us that her dad is disabled and is remarried to a 26 year old. Her mom does taxes. Also, she likes chicken. Okay, that might actually compete with the STD rap. Next there's Kelsey who bounded up the stairs like she wanted to meet Bret. He enjoys this. She's a Utah girl. Bret loves Utah. Kelsey explains that some people are born smart and talented, while other people are born with looks and use that to get what they want in life. She's gone the latter route, you will be surprised to learn. She's cute, if quite obviously dumb as a box of cat fur.
Maria is up next, and Bret compliments her on her pants. She tells him that he could be in them. Klassy with a K! Maria is 40, and is a retired model. She notes that she's probably the only model there who keeps her clothes on. She's actually pretty smoking, and looks a little like Raquel Welch. Bret fancies her immediately. Then we have Marcia from Brazil. We learn nothing else about her for the moment (but just you wait). Then there's Mindy, who goes on and on about how competitive she is and how she goes after what she wants and becomes hell bent on it and will not give up on it no matter what ever until someone is dead or she's been served with a restraining order. Mindy has big-time crazy eyes, duh. Next is Farrah, who leads Bret to say that he loves sexy, confident girls. And, he adds, being hotter than the sun doesn't hurt. Well, Farrah is the color of the sun, at the very least. And has knockers the size of Jupiter and Mars, respectively. She's her very own solar system!
Next is Brittanya, the girl with the dimple piercings. Bret says that she exudes sexy, exotic confidence. She's pretty hot, I have to say, even with that ridiculous name. She looks like a Pussycat Doll. Bret compliments her on her tattoo sleeve. Next is Beverly from Atlanta, who comes off a bit like Peppermint Patty. Look for DJ Lady Tribe to call her "Sir" at any moment. She's seen Bret in concert twice, which I think is an appropriate amount of sacrifice / dues paying to qualify her as a contestant. Then there's Samantha. The only remarkable thing about her is that she gets really, really carsick. Also, she's particularly disgusting. That's no small feat in this crowd.
While the girls have been hot so far, Bret notes that they've all been giving him the same generic, sexy pose. He needs a little something special. Just in time, he meets Taya, the Penthouse Pet. She's sure that Bret's seen her cover, in which she was wearing a cowboy hat. That totally distinguishes her from every other Penthouse Pet. Bret tells Taya that she can get naked for her backstage pass if she wants to. But Taya doesn't want to be the FIRST naked girl. While she's fine showing skin for work, she doesn't want Bret to automatically peg her as "party naked girl." Because that would totally distinguish her from every other skank vying for his affections. Taya takes the modest route, pulling her jeans down to reveal her ass. You know, I think that if you want to be unconventionally sexy then you pose for your backstage pass wearing a Snuggie. I'm sure some enterprising product developer is working on a special Bret Michaels edition three-sleeved Snuggie, which will be widely known as "the 21st Century hole in the sheet." Look for it in an "As Seen on TV" endcap near you!
Gia, up next, shows none of Taya's reservations and whips out the boobs as she's walking up the stairs to meet Bret. He loves her, even while acknowledging that she's not the most stimulating conversationalist. And with that, all of the backstage pass taking is complete! Bret heads off to his sound check as he prepares to give the girls their first taste of life on the road.
The girls, under Big John's direction, grab their luggage and pick a bus. It's a stampede of stripper heels, according to Samantha. DJ Lady Tribe tells us that, because her clothes are so small, she can fit six weeks of wardrobe into her Louis Vuitton carry-on. Do you think her herpes have their own little corset tops to wear? She hits her head on the bus's storage compartment, which should take care of the one holdout brain cell. Melissa really overpacked and it soon becomes clear that not all of the luggage is going to fit. Big John explains that luggage is like a puzzle, and so Ashley and Natasha work to take everything out and rearrange it so that it will fit. DJ Lady Tribe, however, sees her suitcase back on the sidewalk and freaks out. It. Is. On. Natasha claims both that DJ Lady Tribe is on drugs and needs medication. I think she might also call DJ Lady Tribe "Scary Spice." This makes no sense, but I think that's how Natasha rolls. In an interview, DJ Lady Tribe tells us that none of the drugs she takes are illegal. She is totally the reason that you have to get Sudafed behind the counter. She then burps and loses her train of thought. Yeah.
With the luggage compartment finally closed, we learn that there is a blue bus and a pink bus. If you suspected that some dumb-asses would refuse to get on the blue bus because pink is their color, then you are familiar with Farrah. The blue bus girls, most of whom are brunette, quite sensibly avoided the pink bus because they knew that its inhabitants would bring the drama and the herpes simplex. Instantly on the pink bus Brazilian Marcia tells the others not to put toilet paper or tampons in the toilet because it will get clogged. I once went to a three-day folk festival where I had to use port-a-potties for the duration; and, let me tell you, I was never so happy to see a McDonald's rest stop bathroom. I imagine the situation with these bitches is going to be similarly grimy. Ashley yells out that Marcia is about to take a deuce, and that she looks like a beaver. She actually might have something there. Ashley explains that she was wasted and saw that Marcia wasn't blonde and so decided that she would pick on her. I've never seen the modus operandi of a Rock of Love contestant laid so bare! Marcia does not appreciate that Ashley is making fun of her broken English. Ashley sings a song that she wrote about it (which is no STD rap, let me tell you) and Marcia, being Brazilian and prone to not taking anybody's crap, pours her beer backwash on Ashley's head. The skirmish escalates and one of the impressively-racked blonde chicks (I can't tell them apart yet) starts crying that she wants to go home. For Rock of Love 4 all of the girls are going to be packed into a 10 x 10 plexiglass box with airholes. Rock of Love: Box.
Meanwhile, the boring brunettes on the blue bus are singing Kumbaya. Literally. Maybe they'll make s'mores next!
And then we're at Bret's concert! Oh, God, are we actually going to have to listen to Bret's music? Groan. The girls go on stage and dance skankily. DJ Lady Tribe takes off her corset top and confirms what we suspected all along: the world does not contain a bra that will fit her. Bret is like your third-grade teacher and has eyes in the back of his head, and so is keeping tabs on what the girls are doing even as he's rocking out. Natasha notes that she looked over and saw Farrah and Gia swapping diseases. Farrah confirms that when she's drunk, she's a lesbian, which by my math means she's a lesbian 90% of the time. But she usually doesn't remember it, which, according to her logic, means it didn't happen. Gia has a similar philosophy and tells us that Farrah can lick her boobs whenever she wants. Well that sounds like an arrangement that works out for everyone. Farrah then totally sticks her face in Gia's lady bits, which is apparently okay too.
Taya tells us that there were children in the audience, and so she was mortified when she saw Gia's boobs hanging out. The fact that Farrah was sucking on them was an added affront. I am mortified that anyone would bring a child to a Bret Michaels concert. What kind of monster would expose their innocent son or daughter to such a horrific sonic experience? Taya sees the irony in the fact that, as a Penthouse Pet, she's the classiest one there. Nurse Stephanie is neither a skanky exhibitionist nor a Poison fan, so she's also taking things a bit slower.
The show is over, and it's time for the afterparty! I want to stop this recap instantly and go listen to R. Kelly's "Ignition," one of my secret favorite songs. Gimme that toot toot, indeed. Bret thinks that the afterparty will help suss out who's cut out for life on the road. The girls head to the bar and commence doing shots out of test tubes akin to the ones that first held the mutant strains of humanity from whence they came. Gia likes to get the party started, and keep the party going, and party party party, and also make out with women. And then it happens. Ashley notices that Beverly is wearing man-shoes. She says that she feels insecure about Beverly's shoes. Ummmm....okay, let's just go with it. Beverly retorts that she feels insecure about Ashley's dress. Ummmm, okay, going with it again. Ashley interviews that Beverly is a dude, and she doesn't think that Bret wants to date a dude. Eh, maybe chicks with dicks. Ashley then rags on Beverly's saggy boobs, and Beverly determines that it's now her turn to get picked on by the Pink Bus Blondes, also known as the Blondetourage. This all eventually leads, as such things do, to Beverly downing a shot and throwing her empty plastic cup in Gia's direction. Gia interprets this as Beverly throwing a drink on her. We then get a shot of Beverly who for some reason has the sweatiest boobs known to man. The hell? Oh, wait, actually that's liquid remnants of the full drink that Gia then threw at her. Good times. Seriously, this shit is just stupid. It's not the heyday of "Don't threaten me with a good time," for sure. Nor is at an STD rap.
And then Bret enters! He's all raspy from his concert. The girls swarm around him and Gia climbs up on the bar, facilitating the infamous black box hooch cover of the censors. Awesome. DJ Lady Tribe wonders what she can do with this. She interviews that she's frickin' horny, because she hasn't been with a guy in three months. She had a girlfriend and thought the girlfriend thing was going to work out. But apparently it didn't. And then... something happens. There's a pause in the action, and Bret looks mildly horrified, and the other girls gasp and point. Let's allow Bret to narrate: "Woah woah woah. Hold on a minute. I can't show you exactly what happened right here. But for 21 years of me being on the road and three seasons of Rock of Love... wow. I understand starting a party off with a bang. However. She better slow her roll because that's way too much. Alls I know is thank God alcohol kills 99.9% of all germs." Marcia then teaches us the Portuguese word for vagina -- it sounds something like "pedideca" -- and adds that in Brazil they do not serve shots from the pedideca. You guys, I think that Gia just served up a twat shot. Like... how does that even work? Does the CDC know about this? Why do I feel so sticky?
And then Heather feels like she has to leave, and totally bites it walking down the stairs where all the girls spilled their drinks. Aw, sad. She didn't even get to talk to Bret, as he was all involved with twat shots and whatnot. Hey! That's a great rhyme that could totally appear in the STD rap chorus. "Twat shots and whatnot" is the new "dicksucker whorebag." Meanwhile, Melissa takes a different approach, choosing to talk to Bret directly about how she can't deal with the crazy whorishness. She tells Bret that she's there for him, but he wonders if she can hang with life on the road. She says that she hates being in a negative environment, but she's willing to do it for him. He asks if she wants him to let her go. She doesn't. Well then shut the fuck up and stop wasting our time. Bret thanks all the girls for being there and bids them good night.
The next morning the girls awake and set about fixing themselves up in their claustrophobic quarters. Big John gathers them all outside and does a head count. Someone's missing. And then from the nearest free clinic / library and/or dumpster stumbles DJ Lady Tribe. The only word Beverly can think of to describe her is "woah." Those legal drugs must have kicked in all at once. With everyone accounted for, the girls head to the lap of luxury, also known as The Sheraton. They're waiting for Bret and decide to have a few cocktails to pass the time. There are three rooms and three cliques. Two of three are gradations of skank, and the third is full of dullards. One of whom is a Penthouse Pet. Taya is appalled that everyone is drunk. In the other room, Constandina is teaching the girls some belly dancing maneuvers. She says she doesn't know if Bret's ever been touched by the goddess, but if he hasn't, it's time. Marcia, meanwhile, two-fists an alarming amount of tequila. And then she vomits an alarming amount of tequila. Good times.
Bret finally shows up and Brittaney knows how important it is to get time to talk with him, because the girls who don't are the ones who kicked off. They are the dreamers of the dream, and the secret geniuses, if you ask me. Marcia then emerges from the bathroom with a gift for Bret. It is a Brazilian tradition that involves a long, lingering, open-mouthed series of kisses. WITH PUKE BREATH! Taya is both amused and appalled. Bret loves it and says it's the best Dorito he's ever tasted. I just report what happens, people.
Bret then grabs Beverly for a talk. He tells her that she seemed like she was enjoying his show for real, and he was impressed that she knew the lyrics even to his crappy solo stuff. Bret likes that Beverly is a drop-dead smoking tomboy with a down to earth attitude, and also acknowledges that she might be able to kick his ass. Beverly mentions an ex-husband, and says that on her free pass list -- which Bret explains to us is a list of people your spouse will allow you to have sex with should the opportunity arise -- Bret was the only person. Romanticals! Beverly kills the mood by noting that Edward Norton was on it for a minute after American History X. But he was always number two. Beverly hypothesizes that Bret finds it refreshing that she's not putting things in her crotch. Counterintuitive, but I think true.
Brittaney then corners Bret in a hall and asks what he's really looking for in a woman. Pukey Marcia then sidles up to him as Brittaney explains that, though she's not a lesbian or "totally" bisexual, she'd absolutely have a threesome if that's what he wanted. This is TMI even for Bret. Undaunted, Brittaney says that she wants someone to love her and hold her at night. Bret pegs Brittaney as a needy porn star, then leaves her to hang with the Blondetourage. He sits with Ashley, Gia, DJ Lady Tribe and Farrah and acknowledges that they're the life of the party, with or without him. And that bothers him a little bit. They kiss him all at once. If I were Bret Michaels I would be so exhausted. And itchy. Like I just ran a marathon in a wool Speedo.
Bret finally goes to see some of the brunettes. Samantha says that she's having a great time, and while she's talking Bret takes a moment to kiss Maria's stomach. Samantha admits that she can't compete with a six-foot tall supermodel. It's called life, honey. Meanwhile Marcia is drunk and crazy, even relatively. We relive Marcia and Ashley's fight on the bus and learn that they're still not getting along. Marcia throws chips at Ashley's face. This is quite an affront, and Ashley then pours a beer over Marcia's head. A ruckus ensues, and Bret has to drag himself away from Maria's stomach and intervene. As it happens, Marcia was so upset by Ashley's wasting alcohol (on her head) that she decided to choke Ashley. Stephanie cowers in the corner as the girls explain the situation to Bret. He acknowledges that choking someone is not okay. This has been one to grow on. Marcia runs off to pack, but Bret asks for her side of the story and says that he doesn't want her to leave. Those pukey kisses are magic. Bret then talks to Ashley who isn't sure she wants to stay in a situation where she gets choked out of nowhere. Bret says that he'll do whatever he has to do to protect Ashley and make sure that Marcia is chilled out. He then makes out with Ashley, which cures all of the bad feelings resulting from how she was choked ten minutes ago. He calls the girls together to tell them that while they may not get along, it's not cool to lay hands on one another, unless it is in a porny girl-on-girl way, and sometimes not even then. And now he's going to go make some decisions and boot some arse.
Elimination! It's been a long road, my friends. I can't even explain to you what DJ Lady Tribe is wearing, or how outsized her upper lip has become, or how she can't stand up straight because she's so effing high on legal drugs. Bret is going to eliminate five ladies tonight, but quick, because they have to get on the road to Indianapolis. He calls out the following names: Marci, Heather, Stephanie, Gia, Nikki, Brittaney, and Marcia. The other thirteen women have rocked his world and are safe. They are duly excited and get to leave. The seven women he called remain to learn which two of them will continue on the tour. DJ Lady Tribe nearly falls down, as she is wont to do.
Bret gives a quick evaluation of each girl. Heather is beautiful but might not be prepared for the insanity of the last few days, which is a problem. Stephanie has not spoken to Bret at all. Bret also didn't get to know Marci at all. Gia is a fun party girl, but Bret isn't sure if he'll be taking her home to meet grandma anytime soon. Oh, come on. Grandma Michaels loves a good T.S. and W. as much as anyone! Brittaney (who is bawling) has an amazing soul, however she's done a lot of adult entertaining. Bret can't fault her for her quality work, but at the same time he has to think her over. Marcia is a Brazilian firecracker. Bret loves this, but acknowledges that it may kill them all. But he appreciates that she stayed when he asked her to. And so she gets a pass! She agrees to stay and rock Bret's world. There's one more pass left. Lord, please let him keep DJ Lady Tribe, even though she's unable to even stand up right now. Alas, He does not hear my prayer and Bret chooses to pick crazy needy porn Brittaney instead. Boooooooo! Bret interviews that some of us might think that this is all kind of harsh, but he needs someone who's strong enough, fun enough, outgoing enough and grounded enough to hang with him. And DJ Lady Tribe did not make the cut. Nor did the boring chicks, and nor did twat shot Gia. This latter bit leads Marci to take solace in the fact that Bret might have a brain after all. The pink bus girls toast to their victory, as Ashley notes that if Marcia gets in her face again she'll fuck her up. And then some poor crew members have to lead DJ Lady Tribe off the set. I miss her already.
This season: liquor, boobs, and skankery! On a bus!
If by some magical chance Bret does find true love, or quit searching, we've got suggestions for other aging rockers who'd be fit to fill his shoes.
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